Joshua Riker-Fox

Leaving Winnipeg following the Bison Classic track meet, the same feeling I after  the last few weekends hit me – happy to put together decent performances but certainly leaving a lot to be desired. Out of necessity (but also cause I really enjoy it), I compete a lot in the individual events in the early season. The last  weekends have looked like Edmonton – Portland – Edmonton – Montreal – Winnipeg, for individual event meets. It is necessity or my approach because performing high quality pent reps is difficult in Canada. We are pretty isolated from the heart of the sport. It is also a gift though that we are able to be a part of the individual event meets and I really try to take advantage of it. I approach it as if it is high quality training and when I’ve had success with these pre-season meets, I’ve had success in the pent season. Obviously though, I always want to win. It’s hard to accept losing to anyone, especially in the moment of battle. I sort of adopt two different personalities – the one that knows this is to prep me for the season, and the other one that in the moment expects to be the best. That’s audacious and doesn’t work out too often. Haha. But it’s what I go with. I ran pretty mediocre in Winnipeg. The goal here was to get solid times as opposed to approaching from a tactical standpoint of placing well. I raced three events within 24 hours (4x800m, 1000m, 1500m), so not conducive to racing fast times. I guess I’m greedy wanting all that. In terms of putting good times down, I more or less failed. The positive I can take away is that I ran some tactically good races and I got a lot of racing volume.

When I keep bumping my head against the wall a number of weekends in a row, moonlighting as a different athlete, I feel blessed despite being totally humbled by those at the top. In moments of pause, I question it though. It’s emotionally hard to consistently compete if you are emotionally invested in each contest. So, I have to kind of fool myself and pump up before and during, but after shrug it off and not let the emotional highs or lows set in. A funny balance. One of my coaches said once that you can only go to the ‘well’ so many times. Which is so true. I’ve witnessed some athletes pull off out-of-their-mind performances that were 90% heart. But one can’t rely on that tactic. Gotta save it. So, another great, fun, and beneficial weekend of competing… but not completely satisfying. I think I avoided the well and for now, that’s what matters.

My focus during this part of the season is typically in the individual events. I try to compete a ton to get in the quality work that will have me ready for full pentathlon's. This has been one of the privileges of the sport as I've been adopted in so many different sport communities. Two weeks ago I was in Edmonton for a track meet, which is where I am departing from today after another meet. In between I was in Portland for a fencing tourney. All very cool experiences. I am running well, after 5 events in 14 days, I am happy with 4 of them. I fenced well last weekend, although I didn't finish as high as I'd hoped. My losses in pools were all by one point, and in a strong field like that, I can live with it (98/238 - North American Cup). I'll do a couple swims at a meet Sunday and then let my body recover. I feel good and I've been happy with how I've lined up training and events. The Olympic Oval in Calgary has been awesome allowing me to shoot on the track, so I can do combined work with the shoot. This is advantageous to replicate more closely what competition is like. Yesterday I ran a lifetime second best time in the 1000m so I'm pumped about this. I didn't follow it up with a good 1500m today though so that's left me pretty hungry. Sport for me has always been about finding a balance between enjoying success as often as possible (which is really rare in reality) against a reasonable amount of failure so that the desire to push further is strong. If it's too easy, or too hard, it likely isn't fun, whatever the activity is. It's a pleasure to come to this meet where every Western Canadian university team (except the Bisons), along with top clubs is racing and to see the quality of athletes. A number of whom are also vying for a place in London. Having said that, Portland was the same. The winner, Cody Maatern, is a 2004 Olympian and there were a number of other athletes there fighting for advancement in the sport. Awesome to be a part of it, and to watch a bit as well, especially in events I do not understand.... women's sabre, pole vault??? Awesome to feel connected and cheer but have no ability whatsoever to do it.

Speaking of the awesomeness of sport, I was reminded further after visiting a school a few weeks ago. I have a had a great winter so far, dropping in to probably 10 schools. Lots of kids to connect to. Some have been excellent. The odd school is difficult because kids aren't interested or teachers haven't prepared them. Strangely it is rarely the less privileged schools who are a tough audience. They are often so pleased to have someone in to specifically spend time with them... Or maybe they are just happy to miss math class. I like to think it's me. What struck me last week though was just how elitist sport is. I always shied away from that comment as I felt it degraded my efforts. Which is a bit insecure I suppose. I think most athletes like to maintain an idea that we are good/great/the best at what we do because we are taking on the best of what's out there. Obviously this isn't quite true. Accepting this (at least for me) doesn't reduce my efforts or achievements as an athlete, but it does provide an opportunity to realize that few people get the privilege to participate in sport uninhibited. There are many limitations along the way, some that I lived through as a child when my family faced true fear of removal from the middle class and as an early national team athlete with essentially no funding. As I interacted with kids at a Marlborough school recently, I recognized how powerful sport is but how many are unable to participate, especially immigrants. I asked which kids had been to the Olympic Oval, and of 70, 3 had. For sure I must have stuttered or wasn't asking the question correctly. So I asked again using what I thought was an even bigger site - Canada Olympic Park. These are legacy facilities, inexpensive or free to visit, less than 20 km from this neighbourhood. NOT ONE CHILD HAD VISITED COP. I was taken aback and a little embarrassed I asked the question. What's the lesson learned? I think it's to encourage participation as much as I/one can (which is a big part of the Youth Education thru Sport, YES, program). The federal tax credit for kids sport is good, although I sense that many immigrant's do not understand it exists. Perhaps part of the lesson is to donate to KidSport, which are located across Canada and promote participation for under-privileged kids. I wish I knew the answer beyond that. What I am confident of, is if we lose this cohort of kids, they won't have the same amazing experiences that sport brought me, and most likely, you as well.

Thoughts are with Sarah Burke. Thank you for checking in on the journey. J.

Last week I started back to training, lightly. This week, a little more pressure. It's a nice time of year in some ways (despite cold and lack of sunlight) because I return to a routine I've known for years. I returned to our indoor track at the Olympic Oval and because of the transition that the XC runners are doing now, I was on my own running through our normal warmup path. Normally I'd rather have the group, but it was a good time to run alone through the dark, cold, crisp, but special route. The bright lights from the University buildings stand out and the cars that avoid us while we are on the school's roads; nothing's changed. The run brought back years of memories and reminded me what lies ahead. It forced me, I guess cause of the solitude, to recognize how lucky I am. It reminded me of how great it is to devote to something you love and to do it with great friends beside you. Sounds like another cliche, which the world could do without, but it's true - no emotion or experience can replace the honest, painful, complete pursuit of something you are passionate about. I've increasingly bought into the rule that a happy athlete is a successful athlete. And it's not really a secret that I haven't been a happy athlete for the last year. I felt like more than the typical number of wrenches were thrown my way; another major change in our sport, reduced funding, internal squabbles with my federation, a heart scare (misdiagnosis taking two weeks to resolve suggesting I'd have to retire), and a general feel that I never got my footing so I could perform. It's all a blur now with few "high's" in memory. But, being back on that pathway and on the track in the Oval takes me back to the year's of training and fun I've had. It's easy to lose sight of what makes you happy when you are staring at it so intently that the feelings fade and you take for granted the moment. 99.999% of an athlete's (or musician's, academic's...) time is spent on perfecting a performance lasting 0.001% of their time. Guess it's easy to see how perspective is easily distorted. I decided that as un-fun as last year was, this year I'm doing what I can to make it better. Someone I really admire said 'happiness is a choice.' Not an easy choice, though one would think. Part of that choice is surrounding yourself with people you like and removing 'junk' from your life. That's my goal as well. The year ahead presents a big challenge. I am up for it.

The community of Delacour is hosting a fundraiser - Delacour 2012 - on November 19. This will be a super fun event with Tom Ponting MCing, Dr. Steve Norris Speaking, and entertainment from the Keister Family Fiddlers, as well as live and silent auctions. Take a look at the attached brochure below and if you are free that evening, please come and have some fun.

Today is Wednesday. And last night I slept really well. Sunday and Monday night were not so nice... The 2011 Pan Am Games were a really good opportunity for me to qualify for London 2012. After 2 weeks at altitude in Colorado Springs and 5 days in Guadalajara, I was as ready as one could possibly be. I felt good. Through crappy weather the first few days in Mexico, we managed to creatively reorganize our training with the help of our COC Games staff. On Saturday the women competed, and Canada qualified its first pentathlete for

It would not come as a surprise to say that things in the village and the competition site are not fully prepared yet. I love Mexico, but even I am a bit surprised. That's life though and none of us seem to be discouraged; amused perhaps. After three nights here, we've got our team gear, developed relationships with our support staff. We have an awesome team doctor, Dory Boyer, and physio, Kitiji. My home physiotherapist is also here as team staff so I'm quite fortunate.